You are waiting for a response that is not coming, and you are waiting and waiting and it is this obsession this needless desire to always know everything that is driving you...somewhere. Is it mad? It is crazy? How many words do you know that mean insane? Come on. Think of some more. It might calm you down. You might start putting the full stops in the correct places, instead of reciting these monologues in your head where you are living someone else's life, definitely not your own.